Thursday, July 15, 2010

Ramblings Of Life and A Sweet Birthday

My mind is a jumble of so many details right now. I've spent days in front of this computer researching and choosing lenses to buy, thinking of upcoming photo shoots (I have five over the next couple of weeks - family and farm life, senior portrait, tots, family, and dance portraits - super excited about them all). For those who don't know, I haven't had the best of "luck" lately when it comes to lenses. About a month ago, Max knocked my camera off of the couch (totally my fault, shouldn't have left it there) and broke my 28-135 mm lens. I spent $100 to get it fixed, then turned around and broke my 50 mm. The USB cable was stuck in the computer chair roller and my camera came flying off the computer desk after I hooked it up to upload my pics, breaking my lens into two pieces. I cried over that one. I love my fitty. Can't live without it. But I took this as an opportunity to learn and grow, and I think I've finally chosen a new and wonderful lens that will keep me happy for some time. Just last night I finally jumped in and ordered a replacement for my 50, so it should be here for all my upcoming sessions. I also have a new account with a professional lab and have given myself a name - Narratives Photography (insert catchy  little phrase here, which I didn't write down and now can't remember - something about narrating life...). So I've been researching the business side of it all, checking into starting up my web site, and getting together my pricing and packages. Yep, there is a lot going on here.

Life can't be put aside for that, though. We have some dear, wonderful friends who are in from up-state New York and we're spending the weekend camping with them. So today is packing, cooking, and loads of list making so I don't forget anything. But in the midst of it all, with babe on lap, I thought I should at least get on here for a tribute to my Kane, our recent birthday boy. He and Bella have spent the week at Pap's and Nanny's house to attend VBS in my hometown, and truthfully, I have been trying to get this post up for several days, but I miss them so much that it's hard to look at the pictures of his sweet face and not feel heart-heavy. Things have not been the same without him here, and we'll all be glad when they are both home. I wouldn't trade it for the world - they are having so much fun and building tons of memories and relationships that will last their life through - but I still miss them terribly, and thinking back to his birth and the reality that five years have passed hasn't helped much.

Five years ago, this past July 1st, I awoke at 5 a.m. with contractions starting. I called our midwife, Ellen, who lived a good 2 hours and 15 minutes away, and she left for our house. Bella's labor and delivery had been a long haul, but I was so seemingly ready to have Kane at 41 weeks that we had been sent home from our last prenatal with cord clamps, a vial and scissors (I'm Rh- and have to collect enough cord blood to test baby's blood type), and instructions to call Ellen immediately so she could have a hope of making it. I called my birth team all around 7 a.m. My parents headed our way to take care of Bella, my dear friend Julie Zickefoose came to capture our precious baby's arrival on film, and our wonderful, beautiful doula Sam came to offer the emotional and physical support that I needed. I knew if this was to be my first successful home birth, I would need support to get past the failure (as I viewed it) at home birth with Bella, and there was none better than gentle, nurturing Sam. 

Photo by Julie Zickefoose

That fast birth was not going to happen, because I really did have a lot to let go of before I could let that baby out. We all had a relaxing morning, lunch, an afternoon of walks through our field with binocs in hand, and dinner, before finally I decided to get down to business. I spent a lot of time on the birth ball, with my ever-supportive and wonderful husband at my side every minute. 

Photo by Julie Zickefoose

At just after 9 that night, our hulkin' baby boy came flying into this world. Bella cried because he arrived so forcefully, with a big wail of his own. 

Photo by Julie Zickefoose

After 45 minutes or so of chaos, with hemorrhaging and a lot of blood loss on my end and a visit from our local volunteer EMS crew to check my vitals, all settled and we finally got around to our baby boy's check.

Photo by Julie Zickefoose

Weighing in at 9 lbs. 10 oz. and measuring 21 in., he had Bella by a woppin' 3 lbs. and 3 in. His head was 14 1/2 in., with his chest 14 3/4 in.. That was my solid little man. He latched on and was nursing like a champ in no time. Ah, I sighed, I had forgotten how beautiful it was to nurse your newborn baby. He gained half a pound a week for the first few months, and made his way into our lives as our little go-getter.

Photo by, you guessed it, Julie Zickefoose

As he has grown over the last 5 years, I am so proud to call him my son. He is kind and generous. When asked what he wanted for his birthday this year, his answer was some money, so he could buy something for his sister for HER birthday in September. When he found out the card he got from Uncle Bubby and Aunt Patti had money on it to spend, he said, "YAY! It's just what I wanted! Now I can buy a present for Bella!" with a gleam in his eyes. I am loving every minute of watching him turn into the man he will be one day. He is helpful, kind-hearted and loving. You can see it in his eyes and his smile. I know five will quickly turn into ten, then fifteen and beyond, but I'm ready to enjoy every moment of it, because through the great times and even the trials, I see the traits that will make for a beautiful person, and I look forward to watching it all unfold. Just as with the weather, I will enjoy the thunderstorms as well as the sunshine, because both are needed to grow a bountiful garden. And he will be bountiful, of this I am certain.

Shirt provided by Julie Zickefoose! She's everywhere! She's everywhere!
I love you, my Kaney. Here's to many more birthday celebrations to come!


  1. I love this story :) I love that you already know that 5 will be 10, then 15 and 20 in the proverbial blink of the eye. I admire your genuine, amazing mothering skills, and, I love YOU! :)

  2. Coming from one of the mothers that I most admire. I love YOU, too!